-achieving a high score and using
the three spaces meant for your initials to spell a disparaging word such as “SEX”, “ASS”, “TIT”,
or “POO”
-insisting that your friend has put a code
on because he is beating you so bad
-up, up, down, down, left, right, left,
right, B, A, start
-arguing about the above code
-refusing to play with any other controller
besides yours
-correcting someone when they call a “level”
a “board”
-accusing someone of getting your controller
greasy
-the humility of getting stuck with “the
crappy controller”
-playing “loser gets the crappy controller”
-accusing someone of “being the best
team” after a loss
-laughing while trying to pronounce Japanese
names in game credits
-telling your friend “the ending
wasn’t that good”
-pulling someone’s controller out
when they aren’t looking
-threatening to shut off the game
-blowing in Nintendo games
-having alternate methods for blowing into
Nintendo games (i.e. Putting the game under your shirt, utilizing a smorgasbord of tactical blows
-getting conned into buying the Nintendo
Cleaner
-having to reset the game because you didn’t
give your opponent enough time to enter in the game
-the intense feeling you receive when the
Boss of a level has changed colors, signaling that his defeat is near
-the disappointment you get when you perish
after the Boss has changed colors two times
-mistakenly pressing the wrong directional
arrow in a baseball game and throwing to the incorrect base, yielding no out, and being truly convinced that the game is at
fault
-holding the controller with extended arms,
showcasing it for all to see and whining, “I was pressing A!!!!” and
giving a dramatized demonstration
-claiming that “the button was stuck”
-Insisting that your opponent stop running
that same play all the time
-quarrelling over who needs the power-up
more in a team walkthrough game
-arguing “you got the last one!!!”
-hunching over on all fours to blow into
the Nintendo game console
-using a jimmy-rig to hold your Nintendo
game down during play
-having to press power and reset at the
same time to shut off a game or else data will be lost.
-putting off untangling your controllers
-your friend that never, ever untangled
the controllers
-the horror when you realize you forgot
to save the game the last time you played
-having a parent threaten to shut the game
off
-insisting you lost because your opponent
“owns the game and plays it all the time”
-insisting you lost because your opponent
was the better team (effective excuse even if playing, for example, a 5th vs. 6th game)
-getting stuck at a certain point in a
game and convincing yourself that you have tried everything and the game must be broken
-being too intimidated by the “very
hard” difficulty level
-the awkward feeling playing a friend of
a friend you do not know well in a game and giving each other generic compliments throughout, instead of having your usual
‘killer instinct’
-telling a little cousin they cannot play
your Nintendo because it is broken
-giving a little cousin the second controller
while you are playing a one player game and insisting that they are actually playing
-attempting to play with the controller
upside-down
-kneeling down in front of the Nintendo
Track Pad and improperly and cheatingly using your hands instead of your feet
-asking someone to “tell you the
buttons”
-using the excuse that you lost because
you were not properly briefed on the buttons and corresponding commands
-totally defeating the entire purpose of
Duck Hunt and taking away all refutable accomplishment by holding the gun directly up to the screen
-getting a speedy head start to jump a
big crack
-leaning left and right, being swindled
into believing that your motions will effect on screen happenings
-hating people that write their names on
their Nintendo games
-intense communication with your neighborhood
counterpart over “who is taking the top and who is taking the bottom”
-never giving your opponent credit for
making an interception in a football game
-going to instant replay just so you can
say “how did he catch that!?” in every ten different ways
-how wretchedly portrayed the crowd is
in any sports game
-asking people to bring controllers over,
then later arguing over who is the owner of each controller
-making a magic marker dot on the back
of your controller to eradicate the above conflict
-pausing a game to eat dinner
-insisting to your mother that you aren’t
rushing through dinner because your game is on
-bragging that you beat a game, but failing
to acknowledge the aid of Game Genie
-rapidly pressing the pause button to hinder
the concentration of your opponent in the middle of play
-realizing that the “select”
button was rather worthless
-arguing over whether SEGA or Super Nintendo
is better
-creating a team and using your friends’
names as the players’ names
-making sure that the player you created
in your ‘likeness’ leads the league in all possible stats
-shutting a game off if you are about to
lose your first game in season play
-getting caught “Asking Madden”
or “Asking Corso”
-the white chalky powder in the Nintendo
64 joystick well
-making fun of someone for “buying
the book”
-every game including an ice level and
a desert level
-the feeling of regret when falling down
a crack chasing a 1UP
-Being caught with a false sense of relief
when a Boss has tricked you into believing he is dead
-a gray controller getting to the point
where brown filth residue is visible
-saying “this controller feels weird,
because I am used to (enter gaming system of fetish here)”
